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This is a developing story about life surrounding Albert Newman in
Australia. Seen through his eyes, it is journey of transformation and
development towards an understanding about life. Conveying his feelings
within, and his perceptions of a life, that has changed over the years.
Albert realizes now the imperfections of life require an amount of
in-depth analysis to reach an understanding about this fragility. Without
having this knowledge, he now understands the mental health of life’s
participants is influenced, unwittingly, by the external stimuli. When
confronted with this diversion of self, it has shown a marked trend towards a
life that conditions, programmes and controls each participant. This
interruption causes a lack of autonomy over one’s life and natural pleasures
are curtailed - in marked contrast to childhood innocence. If only
this innocence could be developed in adulthood and played out as fundamental
guidelines to our lives. Lives that would give more meaning, compassion,
well-being, and harmony within.
Albert reflects: “If this childhood psyche could continue, rather than lost (as adolescence draws a new direction for their future) then a future lost to the destructible world of constraint and misinterpretation could be avoided.” Unfortunately, guidance through adolescence and adulthood is offered by others who have no idea they are also victims - trapped within the crevasses of life’s submerged turmoil of swirling waters that spread mental games down a river with no destination.
Albert now knows the true meaning of life is about innocence,
adventure and, most definitely, knowledge about self. Unfortunately
participants unconciously follow a
societarian conditioning strategy, involving themselves
in hierarchy power play to fit within a structure of a monetary world - to
survive - and losing control of their inner life, their Being, their soul.
“We are not who we are but a product of what we have been taught”
and Albert deliberates this obvious injustice.
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Albert stepped up into the entrance of the train and made his way to
a seat close to the window. Travelling by train has always been peaceful for
Albert where he is able to sit and watch the scenery enter his mind and move
slowly like a movie played in front of him. He hoped no-one would sit next
to him. His privacy and space is needed at this time. Yet, he always hoped
this was the case when he travelled. Having someone sit next to him and
exclaim how the weather was outside, their shopping woes, and how their trip
wasn’t as expected is something Albert cringes from. Were they being polite,
or were they lonely? He wonders where these people clone from and whether
their life is full of inconsideration’s spiralling into a myth of unknown
quantities. To Albert though, his aloneness is his saviour. His need for
solitude outweighs any need for conversation on a level that has no
substance.
He was always happy to get away. Away in his own mind and a life he
regards as separate with a new identity.
This disconnection from what he was leaving behind was important.
Without separation he could see no reason for life. He has asked himself:
“Why is this so?” Marriage
is supposed to be a connective experience based around closeness and
dualities isn’t it? The reality though, as he has recognised, marriage is
between two individuals, with two pasts, two generations of varying
complexities, and two lives influenced by different nurturing instincts and
beliefs. There is no way a person can feel completely content being
enveloped in a marriage, unless of course, total commitment and selflessness
is adapted to, which realistically is also denying a person’s autonomy and individuality
over their life.
Albert knows too well, this is not true life, but rather a mythical existence
to satisfy society’s interpretation of life. It is when both enter their own
worlds to find a space which orientates with their individual psyche, where life becomes exceptionally personally satisfying. Life must have a balance
and Albert enjoys this balance.
The only variable consideration is if they find someone who is
attuned to their psyche - and then similar souls unite.
Albert has found this and with the slow whirl of the carriage wheels
under him, a tinge of anticipation enters his body and his mind ventures
into the world of assimilated souls ahead, and what awaits him, as the
journey unfolds.
He’s always enjoyed this connection and wonders why the connection
is so wondrously fulfilling. How is it possible two people can escape their daily surrounds and
join in a deep world without words? A world of touch that sends nerve ending
tingles throughout his body. A world where the mind is entangled within a
loop of souls moving between invisible air that surrounds them. Where the
touch of bodies sends ripples of emotive energy that defies words to
explain, and a life forgotten while souls and sexual energy become the
present. Life becomes precious during these moments of submerged and
connective feelings and life becomes meaningful. Where wanton desires are
stretched forward and a pleasurable journey sweeps away all problems.
Albert yearns for this to continue until he departs this life. He
has never experienced such inner delight in life and it’s a life that does
not involve any form of external stimuli or mechanistic social activity. It
is, as he knows now, a life of pure natural instincts, identified as
infinity with soul.
As he contemplates the joy of this dualistic union he recognises a
life lost through his lack of knowledge about self, where this loss was the main contributor to
his past life. Which is why he yearns for this current life to continue and
understands also, with great trepidation, that now he has found the truth
within life, this vulnerability of finding love - will it end one day or will
it continue?
His desires are for it to continue. He likens it to the opening of a
delicate rose in the morning, enlightened by the feel and touch of a
rising sun; willing to enter the opening of the rose, which beckons this need through the melting dew;
the intensity of heat reaching the
folds of its opening and slowly penetrates, giving life, and reaching the
depth of the rose's desire, energies of delight, and peace: the true
meaning of life.
He turns towards the gentle movement of the landscape outside,
reviews this life and puts the negative thoughts out of his mind, and
focusses on the present.
Calmness enters his body with an indicator for the
present: This
is life.
The discussion yesterday morning with his wife Reva started with an
exclamation about domestic activities around the house.
Reva’s
demeanour gradually escalated with a mix of tense anxiety, terse words,
stress and a mental turmoil that filled the room like a volcanic cloud
erupting down the mountain. Calmness and words never seemed to work in this
situation. The volatility of these situations becoming more of a turmoil for
Albert over the years that have taken their toll on his mental strength.
There’s no mistaking that one remedy is to wait until the cloud
dissipates where eventual calmness opens up to a new identity for Reva, that
brings her to the present; the immediate past and problem is then forgotten.
Unfortunately though,
leaving Albert in a state of confusion and bodily disturbance that lingers
for hours.
Different remedies were applied over a long period. Verbal
forcefulness has been effective - shocking the escalating stress
which overcame the moment, resulting in the recognition of a more concise
reality for Reva. Albert has deliberated a reason, analysed solutions and
wondered about a life that is more consistent with his Being.
“Why is this so”. He asked himself. “Life is not meant to be this
way. It is meant to be peaceful and collaboratory on a level of subdued
harmony. It is not meant to be dis-associative or manic upheaval. Life is
meant to be better”.
He now knows Reva's childhood ineffectual nurturing, internal family hierarchy
power struggles, and continuing stress and anxiety over the years, have all
played a part in the eventual continuing collapse of Reva’s autonomy over
self.
This is played out in many other lives in our society, and dispels the notion that family ties are, above anything else, important. Important only, if there is a collaboration of unified understanding and importance of each individual’s autonomy in life, where the intentionality exudes towards an individual’s expression of self. Understanding this reality seems out of reach for some, directing their attention towards self-ideals and narcissism. Ignoring the simplest form of resolve: acceptance of individuality, collaboratory communication, empathy, and a need for integration to enhance collectively rather than self importance.
Acceptance of individuality is important.
So is selflessness and Love. Without these three
ingredients also, there can be no resolving
mediatory substance within families to keep them functioning on a level of
harmony. Hierarchy power struggles are mental controlling insecurities and only
warrant distaste in a life that should have more balance.
Albert recognises there is no mistaking the importance of knowledge
in these matters - knowledge about self. There is no mistaking also that the continuing expression of
interest in society’s inept desire to follow media portrayals of an ideal
life has contributed to a succession of undesirable and inconsistent
patterns of mental instability. These effects having a priming influence on
the individuals, who continue to watch and consume this relatively shallow
world of directive expectations. It is the addictive response to
expectations that is the cause of many other ailments associated with
anxiety and stress. Reva and immediate family, and other families, have been consumed
unwittingly by this false world of idealistic expression and suffer the
mental
consequences of this upheaval.
Albert considers a change and that freedom will come as he enters
the train tomorrow.
Seated comfortably for his journey, Albert turns his head and
notices a woman sits hunched over on a seat to his left, engulfed in a world
associated with electronic media, fingers moving sideways and vertically
over a screen with multiple applications and interests. With her eyes fixed
on the contents she selects a function and using two fingers, fervently
creates letters upon the screen. Why is it that so many
cannot
just sit
and explore life through their eyes and mind, creating wonderlands of
explorations and vivid monopolies of self-expression?
There
continual need for electronic and visual media stimuli is blocking their inner
creativity and expression of self, he says to himself.
He considers our western society’s need for stimulus, captured in a
world of active participation, with no space to sit and think out the
consequences. Actively seeking other diversions to give them a security of
self and hopefully the ability to be free of burdens.
Burdens that trouble them in times of solitude.
“Solitude is self”, he exclaims to himself, and
solitude is where the heart finds depth and purposefulness within self,
which transcends all frantic media and electronic diversions. It can be
self-taught but this aptitude is not sought and the attribute is lost.
She continues facing a screen oblivious to her surroundings,
momentarily pausing to grasp another thought, and continues feverously. What
is she looking for? Another encounter? Or more meaning to her life if she
receives an answer that makes her smile? Or maybe a connection that she has
missed during her days of confinement and obedience within a job that gives
her no pleasure? A life of servitude that is only warranted to pay bills,
and the pleasures she believes can be derived from materialism.
The train slowly decreases speed and she looks up. Is this my
station she thinks? After noticing the platform sign she wraps her screen
with a leather cover and strap, places it in her handbag which she lifts to
her shoulder and stands up. It is then Albert’s breath is taken away, like a
pleasant aroma. He
notices her comfortable size, voluptuous sensitivity, soft and inviting,
with ample breasts that move slightly under a white low cut fragile blouse.
The blouse stretches across breasts that defy gravity, moving suggestively
like playing a tune on an invisible keyboard that visually stirs the
protruding papilla with delight.
The depth of her was somewhat awe-inspiring as she climbs up the
four stairs towards the exit doors, her buttocks protected by a short soft
and light skirt that dances with hundreds of small yellow and red flowers,
playing a game with her upper legs, legs that slowly move upward and under
her skirt. A skirt that delicately moves seductively with
an unfelt breeze, teasing and manipulating her inviting legs for touch,
where imaginary hands roam gently upward towards the soft folds of delicate
damp wanton sensuality. A touch which would bring a soft moan of approval
from her lips and her present world would disappear into her dominion of
pleasure – bringing a truer meaning to her existence.
She turns around and looks directly in Albert’s direction. Had she
sensed his thoughts, his desire for touch, or had she recognized that her
demeanour and energy had rustled with someone close and looked around
instinctively to find something she had felt. Albert does not move, his gaze
meets her eyes and they momentarily exchange an energy that transports souls
within.
She quietly moves out of view and the moment is held in his
mind, with a desire that remains embedded in his Being.
He remembers now how
these curvaceous movements of a woman can arouse his inner self, reaching
his desire of expression below, rising like a sun entering the morning
landscape and looks forward with anticipation towards the immediate future.
Fifteen years ago Albert decided to make a decision. Nothing
appeared to work. Balancing his life around Reva was not working and it was
time to seek the true meaning of a life he felt, yet couldn’t distinguish
because of the continuous mental turmoil that surrounded him. He wanted
peace, wanted to know what life was like without instability, and realized
the only way was some kind of solitude.
Responsibility still weighed on his conscience so
the only way was to provide a sense of security for Reva and at the same
time explore his desire to find contentment without mental disorder.
Leaving Reva was not a hard decision as it was the optimum choice of
the two alternatives. Stay and live a life that mentally destabilised his
existence making him continually unbalanced, or leave and find a life that
he could sense but had never had the opportunity to explore.
It was
decided they stay in touch and see each other as time permitted.
Leaving for a coastal destination was Albert’s destiny. He liked the
coastal lifestyle, with peaceful water that stretched for miles out to sea,
where time seemed to travel to endless destinations, rain that fell and
breathed life into the ground, humidity floated his mind, mild temperatures
making
his skin breath, wildlife speaking endless words on a
peaceful day and the only noise he heard were his thoughts. Noise is not an
apt word. His thoughts were his friends, his inner self conveying
communicative words that soothed his soul and gave him solace in a
mechanical societarian world he
did not relate to on an emotional and intellectual level.
Experimenting with marijuana 12 years ago showed him how his mind
could venture in another way,
providing a deviating altered state.
Always
conscious of its detrimental effects on his body and mind he limited his
intake so as not to lose complete control over his world. It was a journey
that provided him with an insight into self on a different level and realm.
It was not long when he decided this journey was not appealing to his stable
psyche. Three days after intake slight paranoia entered his mind and caused
untold trauma with mental anguish that instilled a sense of lack of control
over his life. It was time to stop and he never ventured into that world
again.
The coast lifestyle gave him an opportunity to sit and feel the
gentle coastal breeze, providing a soothing touch around his face and body.
Sitting on a grassy outcrop adjacent to the beach he could see the sea shore
20 metres in front of him. Listening to the gentle breaking of small waves
on the sand, they moved slowly up the sandy beach and then dispersed back.
He could sense the water relaying a story to the sand as it dissolved on the
surface and then reaching back to more depth it continued again, making
different pathways as it ventured a little higher on the sandy surface.
It was a mild warm day, enough to feel relaxed without extreme heat
and without a coastal breeze that could torment his mind on a windy day. The
day was perfect for solace and reflection.
It was a time for change and this day was perfect
for his mental stability.
He wondered about the many that preferred to frequent the local
shopping centre on these days. Looking for happiness by acquiring a product
that gives instant gratification for a few hours, arriving home to
congratulate themselves with an alcoholic toast, and then just a few hours
later,
or the next day, succumb to the lows of a depressive episode
that engulfs them like a black cloud. The high of gratification is over,
leaving a void that needs to be filled again. Continually repeating the
procedure on other occasions, where a life is lived within a continuous
negative mental loop. An
addiction that must be fed for them to feel wanted, needed, fulfilled and
worthwhile, where all correlations relate to an obsession with self-need.
He struggles at times with this knowledge. How can people be so
blind to the existence they so strive to keep. Wanton needs for materials
that don’t feel and are discarded at a moment’s notice.
The unrealism they have been taught to behave this
way through media and years of conditioning.
When the
alternatives of learning about why they behave, and why and how they operate
as humans, is not even considered. Preferring to unconsciously follow
repeated patterns of addictions causing repeated patterns of unfulfillment
that follow their lives like a dark shadow haunting their minds, where
alcohol and prescription drugs numb this unfulfilled life.
Albert feels happy to be away from these troubled
souls, settling down to explore his inner identity.
Knowing it’s
related to what he sees and feels on this soothing day - nature. Unaware
that the years to follow will test his serenity and his patience, while at
the same time give him utmost joy in finding more meaning to life.
Albert reached to his left, found the seat adjustment handle and
pulled it back so his seat would recline to 45 degrees. He settled himself
in a comfortable lying position, closed his eyes, and inhaled the quiet
sound of the train’s wheels under him.
His mind started to wander and took him back to the
town he started this life’s journey.
The pathway was worn after many years of pounding feet scratching
the surface grass down to a hard fine gravel surface. As he walked, the
small trees to his right extended their arms above him where at times he had
to duck under, feeling the leaves moving on his head. He liked the feeling.
It was like they were talking to him and saying they enjoyed being here
also. The hedge on his left was 5 feet high, thick and well kept, and where
he could see the heritage home still majestically positioned in the same
position from years ago. It provided serenity to the moment, adding its mark
on life like a monumental exclamation.
After many years away he was back and reliving moments in history
from his childhood. He was on his way to the river. A river that provided
fun and happiness as he grew up in this country town. Offering a life with
no expectations. A life without the necessities of today, without
distractions of media advertising, without the pressure of conforming, and
without the stress of materialism. This life provided him guidance in its
most serene simplicity – with nature.
He sat on the river bank and recalled many moments of activities
that strengthened his young mind with the understanding of self.
In particular, one moment, while he was standing on the bank, hidden
out of view by the willow trees that hung behind him, providing a curtain of
privacy away from any prying eyes. Dressed only in his swimmers, he had
placed his towel on the ground ready to lay down.
Un-expectantly he was startled by the movement of
the hanging branches moving behind him and a friend appeared.
A pretty
girl of around the same height and age as Albert. She discarded a towel hung
over her shoulders and placed it on the ground with his. Talking about
school, the weather, friend’s activities and the approaching school
holidays, Albert started to feel himself aroused by her presence. Dressed in
flimsy tight full body dark blue swimmers, her ample upper body formed pleasant hills
under her attire with a marked point on the surface. He found himself transfixed on these
forms of flesh, and as yet, unknown
forms in life.
He was surprised by his boldness of vision but did not look away,
but found himself being visible excited that stretched his swimmers
horizontally away
from his body. It was then that he noticed she wasn’t talking anymore and
looking at his excited region. No words were exchanged, only eyes and bodies
that could not be hidden by the excitement that obviously was unfolding
around
them both. She moved in front of him and reached out a hand to softly feel
his displayed excitement through his swimmers, sending millions of
pleasurable nerve tingles throughout his body. In the next breath she let go
and with both hands pulled the top of the swimmers over his excited region,
exposing himself to her gaze which brought a smile to her face. Lifting her
gaze, their eyes met with wondrous approval seen in both.
Her hand enveloped around Albert's excited zone, pulling forward and
back creating an array of feelings making him gently shudder and shake with
excited nervous energy exploring his whole body and mind. This sensation
giving him a new meaning to life. A life he now knew is a life he connected
to and didn’t want to end. Moving his eyes up to see her face looking down
at the movement of her hand, he reached over and slowly eased her straps
from her swimmers and down her arms. She momentarily let go and reached up
to pull the last remaining threads over her mounds of enchantment. The view took his
breath away. What a wonderful sight - a sight that slightly swayed in front of his
eyes and teased his eyes with an exotic dance with prominent points that
beckoned touch. Her hand reached down again, continuing with the slow movement
that made his eyes close, water, and a moan escaped him.
Opening his eyes again he fixed his vision on her ultimate mounds of
captivating glee . His hands reached up and with palms placed on the tips, and full
bodied form behind, he softly caressed the skin under his palms. He watched
her eyes close, her head slightly moving back, and then returning to watch
her hand slowly pulling forward and back over his excited terrain.
Her body
tingled under his palms, and
sent messages of approval through his hands and arms, around his body and towards his
soul. Their souls now joined in the most spiritual energised delectable
fashion, intertwining with an invisible force of tender vibrations, which
made them both speechless.
With his hands moving, he could feel lines of
senses creating pathways of desire on his palms, her raised tips rising to
the occasion and sending excited energy to his soul. Her hand on his excited region was
gathering a more deeper sensory touch now, causing it to
gain strength and bredth, making his heart skip a beat. His breath
became laboured, and increased exciting intensity was taking over his body -
rising up from toes to mind, like a flow of sensual adrenalin forming larger
worlds within. It happened like a water spout horizontally exploding with
unlimited force that shot warm fluid over her hand and upper wrist. He held
onto her desirable soft aclivity while continued muscle spasms pounded like
uncontrollable pulses around her hand and fingers, projecting more
exclamations of pleasure in her palm and upper wrist, creating contoured
lines, appearing like enlightened seeds, seeking a home to bring more
pleasure of life.
As his hands gripped with more tenderness, she continued the
movement with a wider smile and a slightly more hurried movement, looking
for more excitement to fill her eyes and senses. She looked up, their eyes met
and sparkled, with a tint of moisture filling their world with emotion.
It
was a glee that something wonderful had just happened, a wonderful aroma of
connected souls and life, a closeness reached, enjoyed and embraced.
This tender and most electrifying moment brought them both together.
An inspiring experience which showed them the real meaning of life – pleasure
and innocence – all rolled together in what Alberts now knows
is the
real meaning of life.
A life which commences a wonderful future for her also. Where her world would be opened, experiencing the same electrifying and most pleasurable times that Albert just experienced. A world of innocence and unbridged reality towards a life that connects natural reality with our soul.
Albert opened his eyes and noticed the train had stopped. People
were disembarking, while others made their way up the aisle looking for
their allocated numbered seat. After placing hand luggage above their seat,
they sat down just as the train started moving. Albert looked around with
disinterest, positioning his head again in a comfortable position and closed
his eyes. He remembered a time just a few years ago……
Albert woke to the shrilling sound of trumpets. Reaching down on the
floor to his left he found the side button on his phone and the trumpets
stopped. It was 4.30am. Dark outside except for the street lights below his
open window. Swinging his legs off the bed and putting the phone on the
table, switching the light on, he straightened the doona, lifted up the end
frame of the sofa bed, folded it towards the front and locked it into place.
Placing the two cushions on the sofa he sat down momentarily to rub his
face, attempting to wake from his deep sleep just 2 minutes ago.
Washing his face in the bathroom, he then put on his dark blue work
trousers, blue singlet and blue work shirt. Pulling the belt on his trousers
to its last hole he noticed he was losing more weight from the heavy work
performed on the construction site. From the fridge he placed the re-made
three ham and salad rolls in his backpack, and two bowls of fruit while the
jug boiled. One for morning break, one for lunch and one for breakfast:
eaten when he arrived at the worksite 6.30am. Making his thermos of coffee
after the jug boiled, he found a side place for it to stand up in his back
pack. After mixing his warm milk drink he sat on the sofa to enjoy the
warmth and relax for 5 minutes before he walked out the door.
His unit was small. Six paces long and four wide. A small kitchen
you could just turn around in and a bathroom just as small. The unit was
perfect for Albert and priced right for his budget. The window overlooked a
large tree with the quiet street two floors down on his right. He enjoyed
the compactness of the unit and even though it was in the city this area had
a tranquil country feel where he could listen to the birds calling each
other during the early mornings.
Putting his worn steel capped work boots on, tying the laces tight,
he swung the backpack over one shoulder and made his way out the door and
down the hallway to the street below. It was only a 4 minute walk to the
station and up a slight hill with high rise units both sides of the street.
Walking past the local park he could now hear the revellers in town.
Even
at 5am their lively chatter broke the morning quietness and breathed life to
an approaching rising sun. Walking up the main thoroughfare, taxis were
bumper to bumper waiting for customers, people inebriated and laughing,
walking, talking, with neon signs flashing enticingly. The place was alive
and kicking with excitement.
He had 5 minutes to sit at a street bench seat and always watched
the activity before entering the train station. Girls were enticing early
morning high testosterone men to join them upstairs for a last minute gush
of adrenalin before they went home. A couple made their way up the stairs to
a sex shop. Her skirt black, short and tight inching its way up her long
legs, with high heeled shoes, she moved up the stairs; legs stopping at the
g-string underwear, leaving very little to any imagination. Just before the
door archway blocked his view, her partner placed his hand on her buttock
with a finger edging its way along the g-string crevasse.
Albert loved
this moment - a moment of relaxation before catching the train; gazing into
a world which offered a variety of lifestyles, dress styles, and a life that
was separate to general suburbia, which only offered restrictive and
conforming lifestyles. He stands, turns towards the station entrance to
begin his train journey, followed by 2 buses, taking him to his work site 1
hour away.
With the sun creating faint rays of life over the horizon, he
unlocks the steel chain around the steel grilled front gate, pulls it aside,
and locks it again from the inside. He makes his way to the portable office,
unlocks the door, puts the light on, places his meals in the fridge and
settles down to a sandwich and coffee before he slips on his hi-visibility
orange vest, hard hat, gloves and safety glasses. At 7am the gates are
unlocked and everyone arrives.
Days were always busy. Trucks coming and going with building
material and tradesmen moving constantly around the site, with inductions
and
sign-ins before the new arrivals could commence work. Albert’s job was site
control and safety, administration, and in-between physical work. It was
mentally difficult continually confronting workers to change their work
practices and abide by safety rules. A certain amount of self-discipline and
fitness was required to complete his job with success.
At times it required a lot of arm waving, swear
words and voice confrontation and intimidation to get his message across -
especially the workers who couldn’t understand English.
Plan reading, calculating site levels, marking grid lines ready for
excavation machinery; dust, dirt, grime, mud, rain, heat, sweat, muscle
debility, legs almost collapsing from fatigue; continuous lifting, walking
and moving was constant. Cement trucks arriving, spilling their momentum of
cement mix into the belly of large concrete pumping trucks, which forced its
load out through
extended tentacles of steel hole channels, like a continuous
spew of grey, that buried areas of steel form-work on the ground,
splashing
gum booted workers hurriedly shovelling the contents into free areas before
it dried like a lava flow spent. Cranes lifting large steel roof frame
girders onto the upper story, with a driver manipulating black knobs
attached to steel rods similar to Dr Who dialects head detectors. Shovels,
picks, climbing ladders and continually climbing scaffolding stairs like a
hungry dog scavenging for left-over food on each floor. Steel grinding where
the only relief was through ear plugs; the shrill and deafening sound of
brick cutting which sent shock waves of torment through your body. Bob cats
moving dirt and fill with their ‘beep beep’ reversing signals echoing
annoyingly around the site, stopping again while moving forward, and
continuing again moving backward, like the high torturous sound of a caught
bird under its tyres. Truck
mounted post hole diggers digging deep foundations into unexplored earth
searching for unknown treasures. Backhoes forcing hardened steel teeth
attached to a steel bucket mouth clawing out soil like a hungry dinosaur
searching for buried food. Highway
traffic control forcing annoyed motorists to curse and stop their journey
towards an unimportant destination, and an irritating wait while trucks
moved in and out of the site.
All just part of many days activity on Albert’s
construction site - continuous until 3.30pm.
He prided himself on this ability to continue, as he
noticed men half his age were feeling the strain and unable to keep up the
pace.
However, after 2 years and sweltering work through two hot summers
of up to 40 degree heat, where eyes became blurred, sweat forming like a
river on his skin and continuous drinking, he had had enough.
Not able to face another summer he decided to leave
before the 3rd summer
approached. Deciding to hang up his hard-hat on a career where he obtained a
lot of enjoyment, mixed up with a lot of mental turmoil, physical
exhaustion, yet an insight into the world of brutal business tactics to gain
profits through manipulative and intimidation tactics.
A world he now can look back on and learn from, and not venture into
this insecure and hardened environment where money rules over well-being.
Where emotions are suppressed in favour of aggressive and hardened nerves
and minds twisted in favour of hierarchy favours that repress
individualities. A world of profiteering that favours the corporations and
high end businesses that control. An industry that is built by your next
door neighbour, who is screwed down to bare monetary operational levels by the
controlling influence of big business operators.
In hindsight, this was an important part of Albert’s journey of
transformation. A part of life that gave him inside knowledge and another
insight in life, providing him with wisdom that could not be surpassed. It
was a life mixed with personal anguish, enjoyment, achievements and
comradery. This life provided him with the mental tools to view life from
another dimension and the catalyst for understanding life from another
perspective.
Albert knows now, without this portion of his life, life would not be as fulfilling today. He would not be Albert as he knows himself today and would not be able to view life holistically with an awareness that gives life meaning.
"We all need diversity otherwise our lives are ruled by unconscious repetitive mundane daily movements that persist in making lives the same, where wisdom becomes out of reach and small daily chores become highlights within a world of mediocrity. A humdrum life that seeks control through simplistic activities to provide a hint of desired fulfilment." he muses.
Should we sit and let life swirl around us, content in the safety of
our own captive domain? Or should we wake up each day and say: “What can I
do that is different?”
A life that is not pre-determined but a life that
expands our minds psychosomatically and leads us to untold and unchartered
territory of knowledge. A life that enters the realm of a journey to wisdom
and an understanding about ourselves within - a life that ultimately becomes us.
Albert knows it is up to each of us to question our present reality and whether
it is a life of fulfilment or a life of existence. Without these questions
we do not change, explore, grow or understand and at the end of our life we
will say: “What happened?”
Albert knows his life won’t end like that.